I received a beautiful e-mail from a fellow GPG reader this week asking me about overcoming fear and squashing self doubt.
“I’m a dreamer but I’m scared that my dreams might not come to life” She said.
My goodness could I relate. I’m a hopeless dreamer. Haven’t we all been riddled with this fear?
The fear of not achieving? The fear of failing? The fear of not becoming what we thought we could be?
And while I still live with these fears on a weekly basis, the difference now is that I’ve been able to harness my fearful energy and convert it into productive energy and I want to share with you how to do just that!
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DREAMER AND A DOER.
Dreaming is great! I love to dream. It’s my favourite pass time. But sometimes when you’re too busy with your head up in the clouds you don’t actually get anything done. So I’ve learnt to plant my feet on solid ground and now identify myself as a DOER. And believe me DOERS are the ultimate DREAMERS. The difference is that DOERS work towards converting their dreams into reality.
So it’s time to start thinking like a DOER and take actionable steps towards achieving your dreams.
START SMALL. START SIMPLY
A simple concept but you’d be amazed how many people don’t even take the first step to simply start.
Have you ever been guilty of talking endlessly about an amazing idea but never actually starting?
I have! So now it’s time to make a deal with yourself to take that very first step. And once you’ve taken it, your level of investment in your goal becomes much greater. There’s no turning back now. Get the ball rolling. Take that first step. Whether it be enrolling into a course, sending that inquiry e-mail, setting up that coffee date to ask for advice. What are you waiting for?
When I started my blog, the very first step was to create a website. That became my launch platform. The beginning of something new. You can’t make any dream happen without simply starting.
CATCHING THOSE WRETCHED EXCUSES
So you’ve taken the first step but then you hit a road block, frustration sets in and here comes the torrent of excuses
“I don’t have time?” “I don’t know how to build a website” “I don’t have enough money” “I don’t have the energy”.
Excuses seem to be our get out of jail free card. Excuses are our way of self sabotaging and comfortably telling ourselves that it’s ok that I couldn’t make my dream happen because “I didn’t know how to…” or “I’m too busy with…”. Whatever it may be. We humans love an excuse or ten.
Now it’s time to hold yourself accountable. When I hear myself making an excuse.
I catch it.
I identify it.
Then figure out the solution.
Because there is ALWAYS a solution. You just have to look for it. I was the queen of “I don’t know how to do that” and “I don’t have enough money” but you can figure everything out! This is why blogs and youtube tutorials were invented to help us get inspired, learn and figure things out! If other people have done it, I betcha you can too.
Every success story you’ve heard about didn’t happen with a click of a finger. It happened with a willingness to learn, a bravery to taking those steps and perseverence. As long as you’re moving forwards and not backwards or standing still, you will be getting closer and closer to that dream. Even if it’s inches, it’s progress.
SQUASHING SELF DOUBT
So you’re on a roll. Things are moving and steps are being taken but then self doubt smacks you in the face.
“What if I can’t do it?” “What if people think I’m silly” “What if it doesn’t work out?”.
Let me tell you straight. SELF DOUBT is WASTEFUL ENERGY. It is totally unproductive. If we give in to self doubt and let fear take over we get NOTHING done. So take those thoughts of doubt and convert them into productivity. Hush your doubtful thoughts. Close the door on them and distract your mind by giving yourself a task to do. Trust me, getting practical feels great! Create a list of to-do’s and start ticking things off.
Let me ask you this “What is the opposite of doing SOMETHING?”
And doing nothing means nothing changes.
You stay exactly where you are.
And if you’re happy with that then I’m happy for you.
But if you can’t settle for that then let’s work towards SOMETHING.
Take this actionable step right now. Build a list and tick something off today!
And remember it’s ok to ask for help. Ask your friends and family. And if they can’t then ask them if they know anyone who could point you in the right direction or offer guidance and help.
MAKE FRIENDS WITH FAILURE
The word failure is shrouded in such negativity. But failure can be fabulous! I have failed spectacularly at many things many times. And I’m proud of my failures because it meant that I put myself out there and simply showed up. Even though it didn’t work out, I was gifted with a wealth of life lessons. Sometimes those lesson don’t reveal themselves to you straight away but believe me, the lessons are percolating in you whether you are conscious of them or not.
And if you struggle to see the positive in failure then please take these words on board.
FAILURE is temporary. It is merely an event. It is not who you are.
Do not let failure define you. Just as time continues to move forwards, your failed events will become part of your past. And you have the opportunity to write your future afresh. But as long as you are willing to show up, be present and face your challenges, you will be growing and ultimately achieving!
THE PRESENT OF STAYING IN THE PRESENT
Sometimes looking ahead at the big almighty picture can be totally overwhelming. I get bogged down in overwhelm mode all the time. I have to remind myself to assess the current situation I’m in and look at what can be done now NOT what’s needs to be done over the year. It’s too much to take on board. And to share one of my favourite acronyms with you that I like to live by:
It stands for “KEEP IT SIMPLE SWEETY”.
So often we find ourselves living in the future or the past. We dwell on regrets on what we’ve done (or rather not done) and we expend energy fearing what’s to come.
As I’ve said before these are unproductive and wasteful thoughts. Indulging in these thoughts does absolutely NOTHING for us. When my mind runs away with the fear fairies, I force my thoughts back to the present.
I think about the 3 things I am currently grateful for in my life. Then I acknowledge that I have a roof over my head and a fridge full of food. These simple thoughts can whack things back into perspective. And with those knowing comforts you can step outside your comfort zone and start pushing yourself towards your goals and dreams.
LOOK TO THE FUTURE (BUT JUST FOR A MOMENT)
I know this will seem contradictory since I just told you stay in the present.
But humour me, just for a moment.
Imagine your future where you gave into your fears, indulged in your own self doubt and let it hold you back.
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
Is this something you are comfortable with?
Now imagine your life where you got really good at hushing fear, you learned to make bravery your bestie and took a number of steps towards your dream.
How does that make you feel?
The fact is, we can all achieve that kind of future. you have the ability to adjust your mindset and perspective. Just as your brain can powerfully feed your self doubt you can just as easily put yourself back in the driver’s seat and take control of your own positive thinking.
We are all capable of greatness. We are all capable of becoming DOERS with dreams.
So make that mental shift today and say yes to YOU.
Say yes to your dream life and most importantly say yes to becoming a DOER not just a DREAMER.
Tell me in the comments section below what steps you plan to take!
All my love, Peanut xo
Pssst! As you know, I’m big on building a community of positive, loving and supportive thinkers so if you have a special friend who needs a boost of self love, please share this with them. It just might spark something wonderful.
By Gemma Pranita