I received a beautiful e-mail from a fellow GPG reader this week asking me about overcoming fear and squashing self doubt.
“I’m a dreamer but I’m scared that my dreams might not come to life” She said.
My goodness could I relate. I’m a hopeless dreamer. Haven’t we all been riddled with this fear?
The fear of not achieving? The fear of failing? The fear of not becoming what we thought we could be?
And while I still live with these fears on a weekly basis, the difference now is that I’ve been able to harness my fearful energy and convert it into productive energy and I want to share with you how to do just that!
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DREAMER AND A DOER.
Dreaming is great! I love to dream. It’s my favourite pass time. But sometimes when you’re too busy with your head up in the clouds you don’t actually get anything done. So I’ve learnt to plant my feet on solid ground and now identify myself as a DOER. And believe me DOERS are the ultimate DREAMERS. The difference is that DOERS work towards converting their dreams into reality.
So it’s time to start thinking like a DOER and take actionable steps towards achieving your dreams.
START SMALL. START SIMPLY
A simple concept but you’d be amazed how many people don’t even take the first step to simply start.
Have you ever been guilty of talking endlessly about an amazing idea but never actually starting?
I have! So now it’s time to make a deal with yourself to take that very first step. And once you’ve taken it, your level of investment in your goal becomes much greater. There’s no turning back now. Get the ball rolling. Take that first step. Whether it be enrolling into a course, sending that inquiry e-mail, setting up that coffee date to ask for advice. What are you waiting for?
When I started my blog, the very first step was to create a website. That became my launch platform. The beginning of something new. You can’t make any dream happen without simply starting.
CATCHING THOSE WRETCHED EXCUSES
So you’ve taken the first step but then you hit a road block, frustration sets in and here comes the torrent of excuses
“I don’t have time?” “I don’t know how to build a website” “I don’t have enough money” “I don’t have the energy”.
Excuses seem to be our get out of jail free card. Excuses are our way of self sabotaging and comfortably telling ourselves that it’s ok that I couldn’t make my dream happen because “I didn’t know how to…” or “I’m too busy with…”. Whatever it may be. We humans love an excuse or ten.
Now it’s time to hold yourself accountable. When I hear myself making an excuse.
I catch it.
I identify it.
Then figure out the solution.
Because there is ALWAYS a solution. You just have to look for it. I was the queen of “I don’t know how to do that” and “I don’t have enough money” but you can figure everything out! This is why blogs and youtube tutorials were invented to help us get inspired, learn and figure things out! If other people have done it, I betcha you can too.
Every success story you’ve heard about didn’t happen with a click of a finger. It happened with a willingness to learn, a bravery to taking those steps and perseverence. As long as you’re moving forwards and not backwards or standing still, you will be getting closer and closer to that dream. Even if it’s inches, it’s progress.
SQUASHING SELF DOUBT
So you’re on a roll. Things are moving and steps are being taken but then self doubt smacks you in the face.
“What if I can’t do it?” “What if people think I’m silly” “What if it doesn’t work out?”.
Let me tell you straight. SELF DOUBT is WASTEFUL ENERGY. It is totally unproductive. If we give in to self doubt and let fear take over we get NOTHING done. So take those thoughts of doubt and convert them into productivity. Hush your doubtful thoughts. Close the door on them and distract your mind by giving yourself a task to do. Trust me, getting practical feels great! Create a list of to-do’s and start ticking things off.
Let me ask you this “What is the opposite of doing SOMETHING?”
Doing NOTHING.
And doing nothing means nothing changes.
You stay exactly where you are.
And if you’re happy with that then I’m happy for you.
But if you can’t settle for that then let’s work towards SOMETHING.
Take this actionable step right now. Build a list and tick something off today!
And remember it’s ok to ask for help. Ask your friends and family. And if they can’t then ask them if they know anyone who could point you in the right direction or offer guidance and help.
MAKE FRIENDS WITH FAILURE
The word failure is shrouded in such negativity. But failure can be fabulous! I have failed spectacularly at many things many times. And I’m proud of my failures because it meant that I put myself out there and simply showed up. Even though it didn’t work out, I was gifted with a wealth of life lessons. Sometimes those lesson don’t reveal themselves to you straight away but believe me, the lessons are percolating in you whether you are conscious of them or not.
And if you struggle to see the positive in failure then please take these words on board.
FAILURE is temporary. It is merely an event. It is not who you are.
Do not let failure define you. Just as time continues to move forwards, your failed events will become part of your past. And you have the opportunity to write your future afresh. But as long as you are willing to show up, be present and face your challenges, you will be growing and ultimately achieving!
THE PRESENT OF STAYING IN THE PRESENT
Sometimes looking ahead at the big almighty picture can be totally overwhelming. I get bogged down in overwhelm mode all the time. I have to remind myself to assess the current situation I’m in and look at what can be done now NOT what’s needs to be done over the year. It’s too much to take on board. And to share one of my favourite acronyms with you that I like to live by:
“KISS”
It stands for “KEEP IT SIMPLE SWEETY”.
So often we find ourselves living in the future or the past. We dwell on regrets on what we’ve done (or rather not done) and we expend energy fearing what’s to come.
As I’ve said before these are unproductive and wasteful thoughts. Indulging in these thoughts does absolutely NOTHING for us. When my mind runs away with the fear fairies, I force my thoughts back to the present.
I think about the 3 things I am currently grateful for in my life. Then I acknowledge that I have a roof over my head and a fridge full of food. These simple thoughts can whack things back into perspective. And with those knowing comforts you can step outside your comfort zone and start pushing yourself towards your goals and dreams.
LOOK TO THE FUTURE (BUT JUST FOR A MOMENT)
I know this will seem contradictory since I just told you stay in the present.
But humour me, just for a moment.
Imagine your future where you gave into your fears, indulged in your own self doubt and let it hold you back.
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
Is this something you are comfortable with?
Now imagine your life where you got really good at hushing fear, you learned to make bravery your bestie and took a number of steps towards your dream.
How does that make you feel?
The fact is, we can all achieve that kind of future. you have the ability to adjust your mindset and perspective. Just as your brain can powerfully feed your self doubt you can just as easily put yourself back in the driver’s seat and take control of your own positive thinking.
We are all capable of greatness. We are all capable of becoming DOERS with dreams.
So make that mental shift today and say yes to YOU.
Say yes to your dream life and most importantly say yes to becoming a DOER not just a DREAMER.
Tell me in the comments section below what steps you plan to take!
All my love, Peanut xo
Pssst! As you know, I’m big on building a community of positive, loving and supportive thinkers so if you have a special friend who needs a boost of self love, please share this with them. It just might spark something wonderful.
By Gemma Pranita
When I finally worked up the courage to start my blog I simply thought of one of my favorite quotes. “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. “(FDR)
I have slowly been improving my blogging skills all while juggling a full time job (that is fast paced and full of deadlines), online college courses, and my duties as a wife. There have been so many times where I have felt overwhelmed. What helps me is a to do list. I make a list then prioritize it. My goal then turns into striving to complete everything on that list. If I ever find down time I will even pre-write a few blogs so I don’t let too much time lapse between posts on those weeks where I feel like there aren’t enough hours in a day.
I check my blog view stats a few times a day and have had multiple days in a row with 0 views. But I am not someone who gives up easily. It has been almost 6 months since I started blogging and I constantly look for ways to improve. I told myself that I will not let 0 views get to me because I am doing this for myself and self-fulfillment is a great feeling. I have been through hard times where I felt like I wasn’t going to make it through another day and like I wasn’t meant to be on this earth. I decided that I would never let myself feel like that ever again! Blogging makes me happy, so why would I give that up?
When you are afraid to start something new you have to remember that you will never how great it could be until you try…and as my parents always said “there’s nothing wrong with trying.”
I friggin’ love this! Like you, blogging is my sanctuary. It brings me so much joy. Never give up. Keep going! And I love that you manage to stock pile posts ahead of time! I’ve been striving for this but I’m yet to make it happen. I’ll get there one day. Thanks for sharing! Love Gemma x
Hey Gemma,
This is something I can relate to. After dealing with some heavy stuff during my senior years of high school, I ended up failing year 12. Afterwards, I was afraid history will repeat itself. Over the years, I’ve had role models who taught me to keep working and never give up. When I first started uni, I’ve kept it a secret from everyone besides my family as I feared this similar incident will affect my studies but now I’m very open to people about me being in uni, I’m still studying. If it wasn’t for my role models, I wouldn’t be where I am today. It takes so much courage, skill and discipline to achieve those dreams. What I’ve learnt along the way is if you want something, you keep working till you make and always believe in yourself. This is a really great post Gemma!
Wow beautiful words. Thanks for sharing. And how terrific that you have a mentor in your life to keep you striving and on track. Cherish that relationship forever.
Love Gemma xo
Till you make it*
Xum love this! KEEP IT SIMPLE SWEETY…. it’s so easy to get caught up in everything and feel overwhelmed so much of the time.
I think this is going to be my new mantra KISS.
Keep the wonderful, motivational and inspirational posts coming loving them all. x
PS – I need to go to Bolivia!
Darling Miss. Hopewell,
Thanks you for your words lovely. And yay to KISS. Let’s KISS our way through life.
Blissful simplicty. Sigh.
And yes, you definitely need to get over to Bolivia. It’s bucket list worthy! x
Thank you for posting this Gemma and to Noor for sending me the link.
No worries! And, yes, thank you to Noor for sending you the link xx
Great post Ms Peanut. Tot
Gracias Tot x
I needed this post today! I have been waiting to hear about getting into a uni program and have been putting off a bunch of other stuff because of anxiety over that admittance! And fear of what happens if I don’t get accepted instead of having other opportunites waiting! Your timing is spectactular, thank you for that!!!
Also you have a slight typo under the present present paragraph. I think you mean assess not asses.
This makes me so happy to hear! And thank you for pointing out the typo. I shall change that asap! xo
I have always feared failure, humiliation and incompetence, or just plain getting it wrong. My son faces similar fears. So when he told me he was scared to go to rugby camp I told him about Helen Keller, deaf and blind from a child, who could never experience the things he loves most, like watching tv, listening to music and playing rugby, who said “Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing” he got-it and his fear of going to rugby camp dissolved.
In response he told me about Beethoven who later in life became deaf and so, instead, listened to his music in his head. My heart squeezed.
So I live here and now, as best I can, and when resistance (the root of which is fear) arises I tell myself, this is an adventure………a daring adventure…..I wonder what is going to happen. Child like excitement uplifts me and breaks through the fear.
Rise up No Fear Warriors and enjoy the best of it all. xxxx
I love your words. SO beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
I particularly love “RISE UP NO FEAR WARRIORS”. Spot on!
xo
Thank you for writing this great post Gemma.It’s things I’ve known in my head for a while and you just put it into a post.It certainly inspires me to cast away my fears and just go for it.With will power,prayer and hard work I will achieve my dreams 🙂
Love this! I’m all for chasing those dreams and taking those action steps towards achieving them! x
Great post, and good reminder to start living the dream life without the constant fear! 😉 Can I ask which Iphone you have? The latest picture of seagulls looks incredible! 😉 xox
Hi Sara,
I have the iPhone 6+. I love it. Can’t recommend it enough for taking fab photos on the go!
x
ive been following you on instagram for a while, and only just had a look at your blog, i love it!! you give girls the hope that in todays society that maybe its possible to escape the ratrace. Thanks to you instead of dreaming my dream, i am now going to take the first steps of action to achieving this dream.
Keep it up Gemma, us girls need you! xxx
Thank you for your gorgeous words Holly!
I’m glad that you are going to take those steps to making your dream a reality.
I promise you, you won’t regret it.
Love Gemma x