8 Steps to heal a broken heart (the right way)


  1. Great Advice! First time I felt heartbroken was when I was in year 12 (long story) and I still get heartbroken in other circumstances. I always surround myself with those who believe in me and there’s still so much to look forward to in life. Thanks for sharing this post!

  2. I have never seen someone write this process as perfectly as you did. One thing that I would add is that it is okay to get super angry, as long you don’t do anything that you will regret. I had a friend who’s husband cheated on her in the first year of their marriage. She came to me because I went through the same thing in my first marriage. I told her to not be ashamed of crying and to get fucking mad. As soon as she got mad I told her to think of everything about him that she didn’t like and everything she changed about herself to please him. It was at this point that she realized she hadn’t been herself in years. He kept begging for her to come back and she wanted to make it work. I told her to ask herself if she would ever trust him again. Then of course she found out he was still cheating and finally abandoned ship. The excitement and joy on her face the day she was finally free from a man who caused her so much pain was glorious. I remembered feeling the same way when I was free from the same situation after a short 11 months of marriage at the young age of 22.

    • Oh gosh I can relate. But thankfully I wasn’t married. I’m so happy to hear that you and your friend both worked through it. I can’t imagine how a betrayal so early on into marriage would have felt like.
      And yes, I agree, it’s fine to get mad. Anger is healthy but it’s important to work through the anger and not let those hateful emotions linger for too long. Thank you for sharing lovely! Isn’t hindsight a beautiful thing. xx

  3. Oh wow how the universe works! I went to sleep last night thinking how badly I suck at this heartbreak thing, and how badly I wanted a step by step solution. And I wake up to this! Thank you xoxo

  4. Well said Gemma, we have all had our heart broken at some point and if you haven’t then lucky you. But you do get through it and friends do help, I just kept myself busy, my way of dealing with it. And what a wonderful freeing day when you realise that you are better off without them and don’t need that crap in your life….and also the moment that you realise that karma is a bitch!

    • I couldn’t agree with you more about that freeing day. I wish I could bottle that liberating feeling for the rest of my life! x

  5. Wonderful post- you are absolutely right we have all been there! A good, hard cry always works wonders for me! I also find a bit of good old fashioned escapism in a really good tv series helps- one that you can duck into it when your mind is working overtime – bonus if the lead character happens to be extremely handsome….ahem sons of anarchy anyone?? ;).
    I am so glad you started blogging, but I am sorry it was due to a heartbreak! I love GPG, reading your posts is like chatting to an old friend- infact, so much so that in my head it reads in your voice! It’s lovely to see how happy you are now….isn’t life just full of surprises? 🙂 x

    • Yes! I threw myself into Game of Thrones and Modern Family. Needed that balance of light hearted comedy in there too. Thank you for your support to my little Peanut Gallery. It means the world! x

  6. 2 years on and i’m still struggling to come to terms with my break up… but i have good days as well as bad.
    I am human and i have these beautiful things called “emotions”!
    This post has hit home on so many levels and after reading through i only wish i’d found you sooner!
    I’m slowly but surely working my way back up from where i was dropped from a great height, yes its taken a while but i’m still here living.
    Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom 🙂
    All the very best for your upcoming wedding day, you will truly shine x

    • You are indeed human and you have beautiful emotions. It’s ok that you’re still two years into your healing process and feeling your way through it. I hope the good days start the outnumber the bad and one day you look back and see just how far you’ve truly come. You may not see it yet but I assure you, you’ve made huge progress. Sending lots of love x

  7. Gemma this post is brilliant. Thank you so much for writing it. My very dear friend is currently in the middle of a very sad break up and my own heart aches at the thought of how she is feeling every day. On top of dealing with her own emotions, she has a very small child with her ex and is trying her best to find the balance of moving on but also dealing with seeing him regularly. Although he wasn’t a very good partner to her, he is a good father and their daughter loves him very much. My friend can recognize this. I will definitely be showing her this post and hope it gives her a different perspective on what’s happened.
    I love the honesty of your blog, I love your photos, I love your contagious enthusiasm for all things positive!
    Thank you!

    • Hi Helen,
      I’m so glad to hear that you are going to share this with her. What a tough situation she is in. It’s great that she can admit he is a great father. I hope they are able to build an amicable relationship for the sake of their child.
      Thank you for your kind words and support to my blog. It means so much.
      Best wishes,

  8. Hello, I follow your posts and I think your work amazing . The text about recovering a broken heart was beyond beautiful, essential. I experienced a similar situation and many women get a little aimlessly or without that friendly advice. I believe this message is not only to cure a broken heart, but to encourage people to detach from destructive relationships. Thank you 🙂

    • Yes I was hoping that it would have a greater reach beyond just a break up. It devastates me to hear about so many people in destructive and toxic relationships. This is why I love reading blogs so much because there are so many stories out there and it makes women feel a little less alone.
      Thank you for your words and for joining the conversation.
      Gem x

  9. Cry as much as You need and block him, we had some friends in common and if we found each other in a birthday, I didn’t say hello to him. I was rude and I don’t care because my mental health is more important.
    I made a list of the things that always want to do and I had never try, and I began to try

  10. Wow, this writing process is so beautiful and perfect. I am so glad and happy that people like you exist. These kind of advice are the best. When i first had my first heartbreak a friend of mine told me to just “forget about him” i mean trust me if i could i would.. but it’s not that easy you know? This guy i used to crush on was my best friends brother and he was so kind, so handsome. One day i ask his sister to ask him if he liked me and he said “yes” of course i was thrilled but he was so much older than me. but we liked each other and then one day, i was making my way to school and a friend of mine came up beside me and told me some very heartbroken news. She said “do you know who Alec is?” and i said “yes, why” and she said “you haven’t heard? .. we’re dating! he’s my boyfriend.” of course.. that broke my heart into million pieces. I felt so hurt and betrayed.. and mostly i felt stupid. stupid that a guy that handsome would ever like me. I just felt so damn stupid. and my friend, she didn’t know. at the time she didn’t know that i was a crushing on him. but i think she found out at some point. we stopped talking to each other now. The guy’s real name isn’t Alec by the way. i didn’t really want to say his name so i came up with one. After the news and the heartbreak i didn’t really do much. I didn’t cry.. I didn’t eat ice cream. I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. i just carried on the day smiling and talking to my friends. I pretended like nothing happened. That made me feel like crap because on the inside i really wanted to cry. I wanted to scream but, at that time i thought crying makes you weak. Especially crying over a guy. “Alec” graduating a few years ago and he’s still living in this town. We’d see each other at the market or something and sometimes he’d say hi and we’d talk for a few minutes and sometimes.. we just pretend like neither of us sees each other. In a way, I’m glad he played me. He made me realize how strong i am. I’m 19 years old now and I’m about to graduate school. Theres so much more boys like him to come by way. But this time, i’ll be careful. Anyways, Gemma i am SO SO sorry about this very long rant. It’s just that reading your writing makes me feel so much better. And your writing is so accurate and beautiful. I am so happy that you’re blogging because .. it really makes my day. Honestly. Stay awesome and i will be looking forward to your next post! (:

    • I love that you felt compelled to share your story. Thank you so much! And I promise you, many many more boys will come your way. Every heart break is a gift. It’s a lesson to grow, learn and strengthen yourself. And mister right will be ready to handle an amazing woman like you.
      Thank you for your kind words gorgeous. Good luck with all your future endeavours!
      Love Gemma x

  11. You know what’s amazing? Those advices are perfect for each type of heartbreak!
    Mine was broken for a very long time because I tried to get one significant person’s approval way too hard without noticing that I’m “approved” ONLY when I do what this person wants me to do.
    Last attempt to show that I am who I am was – to share my life’s greatest passion, – ended with 11 years of depression….
    And it was February, 2015 – when my life started to change: I discovered a book called “The Right to Write” by Julia Cameron – an amazing guide for artists of every kind (well, for everyone, really!).
    I’m still in the process of getting my own true self back & healing my heart but it’s been a wonderful adventure!
    Thank you, Gemma, for your advices – they supplement my book of tricks!
    Lots of love from Saint P.

    • Thanks for sharing lovely. Heartbreak is a tough mountain to climb but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it over the peak. You absolutely will get there in time I promise. And thank you sharing that book. I’m super keen to check it out.
      Stay strong and focus on what’s YOU need right now.
      Take care,
      Gem x

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